Open Adoption: Disadvantages
Open adoption occurs when the potential birthmother and prospective adoptive families have personal interaction with one another. Through this type of adoption, the identities of all parties are shared with each other. However, the interaction may be different for each family and may include letters, e-mails, telephone calls, or visits. When considering open adoption, there are several potential disadvantages that should be considered for the birth parents, the adoptive parents, and the adopted child.
Open Adoption: Disadvantages for Birth Parents
The open adoption experience is different for each person and agencies are prepared to help each person work through the following issues. Here is a list of potential disadvantages that you might encounter with an open adoption:
- Responsible for boundaries- Although necessary for all parties, the birthmother and birth families are responsible for establishing the relationship limits and boundaries.
- Abuse of trust- The relationship with the adoptive family opens the door for trust to be abused. The adoptive family may use the trust you place in them to manipulate the situation.
- Potential disappointment- With the opportunity to interact and observe the adoptive family as the child develops, there is the potential for disappointment when the adoptive family does not meet all expectations or needs.
- Feelings of obligation -As the birth mother, you may feel a sense of obligation to place the child for adoption because of the financial and emotional investment made by the adoptive family.
- Changed Mind- The adoptive family can choose to halt or terminate the process at any time. This could leave the child in a state of limbo and possibly lead to the child being put in foster care until new arrangements can be worked out.
Open Adoption: Disadvantages for Adoptive Family
The open adoption experience is different for every family; however, here is a list of potential disadvantages that you might encounter with an open adoption:
- Responsible for boundaries- Although necessary for all parties, the adoptive family is fully responsible for establishing the relationship limits and boundaries.
- Additional pressure-The adoptive family may be interested in an open adoption. The birthmother or birth family may want a greater level of openness. You may feel pressure to accept certain expectations of openness from the birth family or fear not getting the child.
- Unstable relationships- The adoptive family may discover that their relationship with the birth family results in a relationship with an unhealthy or emotionally disturbed birth family member.
- Additional support- The adoptive family may feel the need to be the emotional support system for the birth family.
Open Adoption: Disadvantages for the Adopted Child
The open adoption experience is different for every child; however, here is a list of potential disadvantages that an adopted child might encounter with an open adoption:
- Reduced ability to assimilate into family-Interaction with the birth family may present barriers for the child to fully assimilate into the adoptive family.
- Sense of rejection- If the contact stops between the birth family and the adoptive family, the adopted child may develop a sense of rejection.
- Peer communications- With continual interaction with the birth families, the adopted child may struggle with ways to communicate the various relationships to their peers.
- Power struggles- The adopted child may use the adoptive family and the birth family as pawns playing one against the other.
- Identify confusion- There is a chance that a teenage child may struggle more with identity because of the extent of family history and genealogy information. There may be sensory overload leading the child to say, “Who am I really?”
The open adoption is experienced differently in each adoption. The most important thing for all parties involved in the adoption process is communication. The more communication about wishes, desires, expectations, etc., the more comfortable each party will be in the adoption process.
Advantage lists adapted from the National Adoption Information Clearinghouse