Blended/Step - Intros and Stories

[kendra76]

I am Kendra married to Chris.. My dh has a daughter, Christine. She is 11 yrs old. She is with us on the weekends.
We also have Andrew who will be 2 in Nov...

[sophie'smom]

Cecilia, married to James who has a daughter named Victoria (11) who is the most evil, mean and self fish child you will ever know about.

Right now, she hasn't come home since August 17 because we don't live in a $400K home like her mother and because we didn't want to spend another $400+ on decorations for her bedroom (since we already spent that much in June) so she is pissed and won't come.

I did everything I could to "blend" this child in my family but she didn't put any effords into being part of us, so I am now completely and totally emotional and physical un-attached to her...after 6 years of trying, I think enough is enough! :crossed:

[newmami]

I am Claudia, and my DH has a son from his first marriage, his name is Kyle and he is 10. He is with us on the weekends

I do not have a relationship with him and I have no interest in building one.... I do not call him stepson because I cannot link him with the word SON.

So I guess that makes me the evil stepmom... :lol:

[bettyb991]

:hi: I'm Christy. I am so excited that we finally got our room! :hooray:

DH and I have been married for almost a year (on 9/30). He has two sons from his previous marriage. We split custody 50/50, so we have them every Monday and Tuesday, and then every other weekend so it ends being a 5-2 schedule.

We are TTC right now- on cycle #6. Would love to get a BFP for our anniversary. :silly:

I'm really looking forward to getting to know all of you!

[minna_k04]

I am Melinda, I am married to Larry. We have a 7 yr old son and a 2 yr old son, Bo and Mikey. Christina is my 6 yr old sd who is the result of a separation fling when I was pregnant with Bo. It is a long and complicated story, which I'm sure will eventually be told, but sd has been living with us for 2 yrs now, she has a lot of mental and emotional problems, due mostly to her mothers neglect and abuse during the first years of her life.

[sophie'smom]

Minna...sorry about having to deal with your SD's mental health.

Mine doesn't have any diagnosed mental health problems but I am 110% sure she is bipolar like her mother, she loves us to death one day and the she snaps and hates us, it is very hard to deal with a child like that.

RIght now, DH is completely aware that his daughter was the cause of all of our problems and she was "this" close from making me leave my DH, have she stayed one more month with us I would have left him, luckily she is gone for now and DH and I are enjoying the ride as much as we can, we have been doing fun stuff every weekend, stuff we wouldn't dare to do with her because she would always say: that's boring...I swear could could have taken that child to disneyland and she would have *****ed about it....she is not a very nice person just like her mother.

[Snookie04]

0

[minna_k04]

Cecilia- it's a battle, but I have to keep reminding myself that it is not her fault. As is the case with your sd, the blame goes on the cause of the problem, not the child. Though I do understand your position and your decision. I hope your sd can get the help she needs.

[sophie'smom]

Ohh totally Minna, I agree with you but for what SD has done and said I can tell you she is at fault too...she likes drama just like her mother and she likes hurting people...she enjoys it and her mother rewards those behaivours.

If we say no, her mother says yes, if we don't buy it her mother does, if we ground her, her mother ungrounds her, if she is mean to me or DH her mother rewrds her...SD has told me on my face that she knew she was hurting me and that she wanted that, so nope. I no longer feel any guilt or feel bad for her...she wanted me and my DH to split...but she didn't get it so she won't come home and we are enjoying it every minute we can while it lasts.

[HederHiggs]

Hi I'm Heather me and my husbans Stephen have 2 boys of our own and he has a boy 12, Dustin and a girl 10, stephanie from his previous marriage we've been married almost 6 years and stephanie has not known her life w/o me in it we are very close and so are me and Dustin but he's getting close to teenage years so he's breaking away from me some..but that is typical i guess. We have them every other weekend and during the summer. Their homelife at their moms is kinda unstable..her and her husband keep splitting up and getting back together...but we all get along for the most part except at times when she wants to cause trouble....right now she's trying to slip the kids stepdad into the dad position by getting him to coach their bball teams and stuff which i think is wrong. but we are ttc #3 for us #5 for him we are hoping for a little girl!!

[Oliveland]

I'm Kim (20), attached to Corie (27) who has a son from his previous marriage who is almost 3. I also have a daughter who is 2 and a half (they are 4 months apart) and we have one together on the way.

My stepson even though he is 2 is the most aggresive, rude, unruly, horrible little child I have EVER met. His last visit my daughter was bit (to the point of bruising), kicked, hit, slapped, pushed, etc.

We've BOTH decided that he cannot be around the new baby (and Ireland)...so until things get worked out (I have no idea what/when that will be) he isn't coming back to OUR house. My boyfriend will be driving a couple hours every weekend or every couple weekends to see him.

This has seriously been the HARDEST thing I have EVER had to deal with :ohno: I feel bad because he is only 2...but he thinks punishments are funny and his mom says he never acts out (yeah okay!) and she never disiplines him. DBF and I have no idea how to handle/control him.

[cl600girl]

My name is Chris and my husbands name is John. We have been married for 7 years but have been together for 13 years. He has two sons from his first marriage - Justin who is 26 and Matt who is 24. It was rough when we first started dating since I'm only 9 years older than his oldest son. But as he grew up it all worked out!!

We have two children of our own - Timmy is 6 and Madison is 1. We are finished having kids, John is 52 and close to retiring from his job and doesn't want anymore!!

The boys love there younger siblings and it's such a relief!! Timmy just adores them and they get along!!

My oldest stepson is getting married in June so we have been dealing with his ex-wife who is a total nut job. I swear she has a slit personality!!

[anr422]

I am Claudia, and my DH has a son from his first marriage, his name is Kyle and he is 10. He is with us on the weekends

I do not have a relationship with him and I have no interest in building one.... I do not call him stepson because I cannot link him with the word SON.

So I guess that makes me the evil stepmom... :lol:

I'm also an evil stepmom, to an 11 yr old boy. He's with us every other weekend.
Just like Claudia, I have no interest in building a relationship with a kid who's physically hurt me and Jacob. I don't call him stepson either for the same reasons.

[newmami]

Glad to see I am not the only evil stepmom!!

[sophie'smom]

You guys are evil!! I wish I was like you!! :laugh:

I am just a VERY pissed and dissappointed step-mother :rant: but she will never be called SD again...like I said in my other post, from now on she is Victoria. PERIOD!

[MrsBuzzer]

I'm Amy, married to Tom and stepmom to almost 11-year old Shea, who lives with her mom in Nebraska. Tom and the X split up when Shea was a little over a year.

We're lucky if we get to see Shea once a year, due to the fact that we live so far away, her mom won't let her fly by herself and her mom keeps her schedule so packed. Last time she came out was in July to meet her new sister. She flew 5000 miles for a nine day visit. DH refuses to rock the boat or try to talk to the X about it and it makes me angry. My parents split up when I was 5, but my (certifiable) mom always made sure I talked to my dad at least three times a month and I always spent my summers with him. Shea's mom remarried when Shea was 3 and her mom encouraged her to call the new man Daddy. Every time Shea slips up and refers to the new man as Daddy you can see Tom's heartbreaking.

Ugh. I just got myself all worked up writing that.

We're trying to decide whether or not to move back to the mainland (Tom's in the Navy). In some respects, I'd love to leave Hawaii (I grew up here, but you can't go home again and living on this rock is driving me nuts), but my parents are still here and I love that they get to be with Lucy as much as they do. I never had close relationships with my grandparents on either side, really.

I'm rambling now. Sorry. Hi everyone and I hope we can keep this forum active.

[Gigibear]

I am Gina, married to X, who has 2 kids you can see in my sig. I just posted my story on the main page but I warn you, it sucks :(

[o0astrid0o]

Im Becky, and my DF has two kids from a previous marriage. And we have a son who is 2 named Mischa.

We lived in Switzerland, and had the kids 50% of the time. I was actually able to make a really close relationship with them, despite the fact that we didnt speak the same language. His daughter (younger child), considered me her second mother, and his son and I were more on a friend bases.

We are currently seperated for a year, so I can finish my school in Canada. I dont know how the relationship with children will go on, since they will be going through puberty. I do try to talk to them on a weekly bases, and I take the effort into writing them letters.

My biggest problem with our blended family. Is that I find myself resenting them alot. I do love them, and I feel evil when I say it. But I can tell their priorities obviously come before mine and my sons, in my DF mind. I know he rather give up both of us, then his other two children. And its really discomforting to try so hard to have a relationship with them, and know that my son and I have to suffer for them to be happy.

[AmyM]

My name is Amy. DH is Cody. I have a DSS who is 2 years old. DH had a fling and DSS was the result. There is a lot more to the story, which I am sure will come out. ( any specific questions just feel free to ask, I'm pretty open about it.)
I love DSS with all my heart. It's almost like he is my own. I hate his biological mom though. She is a two faced, compulsive lying, money grubbing, bi-polar, wanna be home wrecker...(ha ha, it didn't work on me!!! ) He calls me momma. And I call him my son. It sucks how he had to get here, but I am glad we have him.

[icy_kat]

I am Cassie, married to Michael (just a little over a month now 8-20). He has two daughters from his previous relationship (thank god they never married) 9 and 6 years old.

We're currently in a big mess over custody and child support. I made a post about it last night in the mother's thread. It's driving me insane!! I just wish I had the money and a bigger space to get her in a courtroom custody battle. I've heard MN is a mother state, but there's more going against her than for her. :headbang: As of right now I've seen my sds twice, once, just Sunday without their mother being present. They had so much fun then their mother ruined it all, as was expected. :headbang:

I'm not trying to replace her as their mom, I just want the chance to get to know them! (And maybe get their okay before I get my BFP for their (hopefully soon) to be half sibling!

[landon6]

I'm Mandie DH is John & he has a 13yr old son Jason.

We have a good relationship, not as good as it was when he was younger, it was easier when he was 5. I have my issues, his mother spoils him, his father feels bad for the divorce & doesn't make him do anything BUT he's a good kid. He's respectful, good in school, has nice friends & he's good with his brothers, most of the time :laugh: he is 13 they are 2 & 1 so I guess he's not really going to want to hang out with them :silly:

[Lisa-palooza]

I'm Lisa and DF has a 7yr. old daughter. She is a sweet, loving child and I hope we have a relationship that continues to develop and grow. Her mother and I get along well and her mother is very supportive of our relationship and my pregnancy.

DF and his ex-wife's history has been a tug of war, she's very controlling and things have to be her way or no way basically. She is a lawyer and the divorce took years (lived together for 3 months after their daughter was born before splitting up) and I mean YEARS with exorbitant amounts of money spent on DFs side with her hemming and hawing with the court. No interim judgments were ever made on child support or visitation and everything was at her discretion and her will. Yes, DF had bad representation and felt he had nowhere to turn. She is not a family law attorney, but thinks she knows how to handle it all herself.

I am fully expecting to have issues as time goes on. I have a very strong personality and so does the ex-wife.

[blueberry]

I am the odd ball! I am hoping this forum will help me understand what it's like on the other side.

I am Jenny my SO is Schake we have Alexander 4mo, Anthony 2yrs, and Akasha 1yr. Then I have Erica from a previous marriage. She is almost 16.

We have a great relationship. The only issues/arguments that we ever have are based around Erica, her father, and me. I was lax with Erica's discipline and I am somewhat passive where she is concerned. I am working on this daily and it is truly a struggle for me. I am hoping I will see what you all go through and have a better understanding of what it's like on the other side!

[Snookie04]

I am the odd ball! I am hoping this forum will help me understand what it's like on the other side.

I am Jenny my SO is Schake we have Alexander 4mo, Anthony 2yrs, and Akasha 1yr. Then I have Erica from a previous marriage. She is almost 16.

We have a great relationship. The only issues/arguments that we ever have are based around Erica, her father, and me. I was lax with Erica's discipline and I am somewhat passive where she is concerned. I am working on this daily and it is truly a struggle for me. I am hoping I will see what you all go through and have a better understanding of what it's like on the other side!


I think the fact that you want to see the other side is a wonderful step. I try to see things from bio moms point and at times it makes me stop and re-think things, but she is crazy so it doesn't happen a lot...lol.

My mother and step-father and my father and ex-step mother all faught a lot because of me and my teen years. I was a VERY difficult child and that is putting it mildly. Luckily I got my head outta my butt and grew up and have a fairly decent realtionship with my family now. My mom and I are much closer. I still don't like my stepfather, but I tolerate him much better than I used to. I don't have to like him, but I do need to allow my mother to live her life how she chooses whether I agree or not.

[o0astrid0o]

I am the odd ball! I am hoping this forum will help me understand what it's like on the other side.

I am Jenny my SO is Schake we have Alexander 4mo, Anthony 2yrs, and Akasha 1yr. Then I have Erica from a previous marriage. She is almost 16.

We have a great relationship. The only issues/arguments that we ever have are based around Erica, her father, and me. I was lax with Erica's discipline and I am somewhat passive where she is concerned. I am working on this daily and it is truly a struggle for me. I am hoping I will see what you all go through and have a better understanding of what it's like on the other side!

I think its great that your trying, and you should give yourself more credit. I think you are doing a great job as a mom to her, and taking your DBFs concerns into mind too.

I think the majority of the complaints on this board, is when the ex is involved too. Its very hard to raise children in a half and half enviroment where there are two sets of rules in two different places. And each parent giving a differnt impression of the other parent to the child.

So I highly doubt that your DBF would think half the things about Erica that is says here. But hopefully will help understanding more :)

[cbrown122606]

Myname is christina and i have as DSD who we see evey other weekend and sometimes more than that. we also have three others andrew who is 5, nevaeh who is almost 3, brelynn who is almost 2 and another little boy who will arrive by c-section on dec 12th.

[Joie]

I'm Joie. We'll call DH Aces and I'm the proud stepmama to DSD8 and DSD12. We get to see our girls every other weekend, which isn't nearly enough. They consider me their "other mom" although they call me by my first name. Most of the time I just refer to them as my girls...I'm very lucky to be close to them. They were 8 and 4 when I moved in. I don't think our youngest can remember life without me...ironically she's more like me than her mom and our oldest is like DH.

[LilMama]

Glad to see I am not the only evil stepmom!!

Add me to the profile :silly:

I'm Brenda, married to Tom and I have one son Gus from a previous marriage (short lived) and one son Jake with dh. Dh has two other children from a previous marriage and i have NO relationship with his son and he's never allowed around my children or me ever again. His daughter I have little relationship with and have NO interest in having one either.

[little_momma]

I"m new.... I'm Bridget DH and I have been Married 10 months now...Been together a about 14 months He has a 2 year old son named Branden, and we have a 3 month old daughter, Bailey. He gets custody of Branden every other week starting on Fridays.

[hippiechk7]

I am the odd ball! I am hoping this forum will help me understand what it's like on the other side.

I am Jenny my SO is Schake we have Alexander 4mo, Anthony 2yrs, and Akasha 1yr. Then I have Erica from a previous marriage. She is almost 16.

We have a great relationship. The only issues/arguments that we ever have are based around Erica, her father, and me. I was lax with Erica's discipline and I am somewhat passive where she is concerned. I am working on this daily and it is truly a struggle for me. I am hoping I will see what you all go through and have a better understanding of what it's like on the other side!

I'm right there with you! I started reading this board to get the other side of the picture, too. I'm Diana, and my DH and I have been married for a year, a couple for 5, friends for 15. While we were just friends, I married another guy and he was engaged to another girl. After both those things fell apart, we finally got together. Of course, in the meantime I had a DD who is now 8. Our issues arise from me being somewhat passive as well with her discipline and issues with my ex. But my DH is patient and tries his best to stomach it all.

I hope I never seem like some of these crazy ex's you girls are posting about. I really, truly love my DD's step-mom. It's my ex I can't stand. :P I whole-heartedly believe that as long as she is in the picture I will leave his partial custody alone. She is wonderful to my daughter and I really trust her. Never thought I'd be saying that, but here I am.

[utvol9779]

I'm Dawn (29) married to Greg (36). DH has a 9-year old son from a previous marriage. We are expecting our first child together in May.

Things with the Ex have gotten much better in the last year, since she had a baby. Hopefully it will stay that way. DSS and I have a pretty good relationship. He has ADD so it's a little challenging sometimes. I thought that he would not be happy at all about our baby since his mom had a little girl last October. He never sounded too thrilled about her when he talked about her. When we told him we were having a baby, it wasn't a horrible reaction. He doesn't want another sister because his mom said that girls are whiny. We told him we can't control that and boys are whiny as babies too. He also has a step-sister his age at his mom's house and he's comparing all sisters to her.

[CaelsMom]

My name is Lisa (31) and DH (30) he has a DS (4) from a previous psycotic relationship. I have a 9 year old DD from a previous relationship. We have a DS together he is 9 months old. as you can see from my siggy. We are still going trough a long and drawn out court battle. We want custody of DS. The EX is Bi-polar and does not deserve the child. DSS is a good kid but could use some good structure in his life. DH is afraid to punish him to much now that we are in the middle of the battle. For fear that he might say something. Our story is a pretty long one. I am sure it will be explained at some point. I am just not in the mood right now to write it out. I will just Piss me OFF! Great to meet all you step moms out there!

[HopefulMAH]

Alan and I have been together for 4 years and are getting married in Colorado December 26. He has an 11 year old daughter from a previous marriage and you would think that she is mine. We get along great and I make a conscious effort to treat her like I will treat my own children. She is with us about 50% of the time. Her mother lives a more "wealthy" lifestyle than we lead but we do not let this interfere in how we raise her. We all try to be supportive of her and everything she does and we never argue or hash out our disagreements in front of her. I was a stepchild as well and my stepdad raised me as his own and I do call him my dad and he will walk me down the aisle when I get married. I hope that those that are having issues with their stepchildren work them out for the sake of the children involved.

[rhiannasmoms43]

I'm Kim (20), attached to Corie (27) who has a son from his previous marriage who is almost 3. I also have a daughter who is 2 and a half (they are 4 months apart) and we have one together on the way.

My stepson even though he is 2 is the most aggresive, rude, unruly, horrible little child I have EVER met. His last visit my daughter was bit (to the point of bruising), kicked, hit, slapped, pushed, etc.

We've BOTH decided that he cannot be around the new baby (and Ireland)...so until things get worked out (I have no idea what/when that will be) he isn't coming back to OUR house. My boyfriend will be driving a couple hours every weekend or every couple weekends to see him.

This has seriously been the HARDEST thing I have EVER had to deal with :ohno: I feel bad because he is only 2...but he thinks punishments are funny and his mom says he never acts out (yeah okay!) and she never disiplines him. DBF and I have no idea how to handle/control him.
That is such a hard thing to deal with, both physically and emotionally for all of you.:ohno:
Have you considered family counselling? Maybe try to find a book that covers this situation?
Hugs
I hope it all works out.

[rhiannasmoms43]

I'm Julie, with a 16 y.o. dd from a previous relationship. Her dad has never been involved in her life and that is just fine with me.
I brought her up as a single mom for her first 12 years.
Then I met dh, fell in love hard and fast and we planned on having a family ASAP...6 weeks later I was pg with Gage:winks:...we hadn't even started living together yet:laugh:both of us owned our own house etc.

It was a big shock to dd.
Even though she was aware and excited that I was trying to get pregnant, it never occurred to her that she was going to have to share me with somebody else.
It was a big shock to dh.
He had never been exposed on a daily basis to a hormonal teenager and he took every cranky comment she made to heart.
For the first year of our relationship I was stuckin the middle- trying to appease both my little girl and my man...terrible place to be...

...but for the most part everything is hunky dory now.

[foxyshay]

So happy to see they finally made this forum!

I'm Shana, engaged to Chris. We've been together for about 3 and a half years. He has a 7 year old son, Kaleb, and we are expecting our first together in just a few days now. We get Kaleb every weekend and for most of the summer. We get along okay though DF and I have different parenting styles. DF lets him get away with everything, including playing Xbox for hours on end even though he's constantly in trouble at school or having trouble learning(we have a meeting with his school next month to discuss the possibility of ADD and dyslexia, same things DF dealt with in school). He spoils him even when we can't afford to do so or when he doesn't deserve it. There's hardly any discipline unless I'm the one to bring it about, and then I am usually undermined by DF. I really worry about how this will effect the way we raise the baby on the way. I refuse to raise them the same, but that means DF has to change how he's raising Kaleb to be fair to both. I have my doubts as to whether or not he's ready to do so.

As for DF's ex, we get along great and are usually on the same page. We do most of Kaleb's birthday parties with her family and ours and have never had a problem. She's a lot more strict than DF and that's probably why her and I get along so great.

Our family is a work in progress, but we're trying to become closer one step at a time!

[lilbaby09]

Hi, I'm Shawna, 29, DH is 29, and I have one DS from a previous relationship who is 8. DH and I have been together nearly 5 yrs, and married for almost 2 yrs (January is our anniversary) We are expecting our first child together in July (due date is day before DS birthday actually!). DS hasn't seen his BF (or what I like to call sperm donor) since he was a little over a year old. BF is currently in jail for failure to pay child support (he owes somewhere between 12 and 15 thousand dollars) And while in jail, he wrote me a letter actually having the nerve to ask if I would bring DS down to see him. Apparently they ARE able to get drugs in there, either that or he's gotta be out of his mind. :crazy:

Anyway, DH and DS get along pretty well, I guess. DH is upset alot because he doesn't feel very close to DS, but he really doesn't know how to really interact with him. Most of the time he's just too tired. He works Tues-Sat, about 12 hrs a day at a very stressful job and just wants to hit the couch and watch TV when he comes home. But then when DH does make an effort, DS usually complains or doesn't want to do whatever it is. :headbang: Anyway, sorry for such a long post! Hopefully I'll get some insight in here!

[misfit]

I have a totally different story that most:
My name is Kate and I've been married to my DH for over a year now and we have a 5 month old son named Sam. Here is where it gets confusing. My parents are divorced and have been for almost 10 years. He is single, and my mother "abandoned" us to be with her horrible fiance who by Iowa Law is now my stepdad via common law marriage. DH's parents are also divorced and his dad is single off and on. His mom and stepdad just split but his mother used DH so we are in contact still will his stepdad and consider him apart of the family. Same with his step-grandma and their extended family. My brother is only my half-brother and didnt find this out until he was 15 years old. We know of his real dad, but he nor us have ever met him. So we are like a bag of mixed nuts over here.

[ms.walker]

im rebecca df is robbie. i have a 6yr old dd from a previous marriage. df had a one night stand and now he has a 1 1/2yr old dd. we have a 4 month ds together. we will be getting married August 29, 2009!

long story short: my ex and i have 50/50 custody. df see's his dd on sundays because he is always working. we know its not enough! we had just got together when dsd was born. he didnt know it was his because the mom had slept with 2 other guys. so the first several months he would only see her once or twice a month.(i've been apart of dsd life just as much as df has) big custody battled......anyways...WE cant stand the mom she lives in a 1 bedroom nasty apt with her and her 2 kids...and whoever is the flavor of the month!! LOL he pays $550 in cs but she cant seem to make a better life for her kids......we tried to get custody but we couldnt afford the $ anymore. We know when she is old enough to make her decision she will want to live with us. hope i get some much needed understanding from here!!!!

[minna_k04]

Welcome! I have been living a similar situation. I'll just go ahead and tell you that the only way to secure custody is to catch her unaware. It took us years. They don't care if they have power, they don't care if she moves them around from place to place. We were honestly told that unless they were living in a cardboard box, forget it. Finally bubbles who had left her bf and was at her moms, went back to the bf during out visit time. We took her back to her grandma's and she told us that bubble was gone and told her to do whatever with sd. Now I think she meant keep or or send her back with us, but it was the nail in her coffin. Dh filed for emergency custody due to abandonment two days later. Two days after that bubbles called wanting to know when he was bringing her "home" and he dropped the bomb. She showed up at the house trying to scare me, she had the cops, but I had papers. The rest is history.

[ms.walker]

Welcome! I have been living a similar situation. I'll just go ahead and tell you that the only way to secure custody is to catch her unaware. It took us years. They don't care if they have power, they don't care if she moves them around from place to place. We were honestly told that unless they were living in a cardboard box, forget it. Finally bubbles who had left her bf and was at her moms, went back to the bf during out visit time. We took her back to her grandma's and she told us that bubble was gone and told her to do whatever with sd. Now I think she meant keep or or send her back with us, but it was the nail in her coffin. Dh filed for emergency custody due to abandonment two days later. Two days after that bubbles called wanting to know when he was bringing her "home" and he dropped the bomb. She showed up at the house trying to scare me, she had the cops, but I had papers. The rest is history.
dsd mom tried calling the cops one time. it was fathers day (this year). the paperwork said that he gets to have her on fathers day for at least 8 hours. so she said i dont care im coming to get her. she should up and we wouldnt let her have dsd. she went out to her car, called the police. i called them too to have them come. when they came they talked to her outside and she whipped out her paperwork (she keeps it in the car?). bascially....they made her leave and we dropped dsd off that night!! YAY! shes is weird. she had it in her mind that df was going to be with her because she was pg. NOPE! he didnt want anything to do with her other then sex and she knew that! she is something else thats for sure! she is soooo jealous of the life we have together. she only wished she could have what we have. its BS that the father gets the bad end of the deal. he ends up paying 75% of the child while the mother gets off only paying 25% mind you she gets welfare and her daycare expenses paid for! to us its not about the money its about dsd. she will never have the opportunity to have a great successful life while living with her mother. ok wooo i needed to get that out!! LOL

[Joie]

Evil One called the cops last year. We'd had the kids on vacation as we always do, and she was to pick them up on a Thursday. On Monday she shows up at our place with the police and they take the kids. No reason whatsoever. She and her family have threatened on other occassions. Makes no sense...we always follow the agreement.

[minna_k04]

Evil One called the cops last year. We'd had the kids on vacation as we always do, and she was to pick them up on a Thursday. On Monday she shows up at our place with the police and they take the kids. No reason whatsoever. She and her family have threatened on other occassions. Makes no sense...we always follow the agreement.

If it is court ordered visitation, they can't do anything. They had no right or reason to take the kids and you could use that in future court proceedings, that is upsetting to the kids.

[jayne2008]

Hello! I'm Kara (28) and my DH is Josh (32). He has a daughter who is 11 from previous relationship. I've been with DH for 5 1/2 years. SD and I get along great. We have always had her a couple evenings a week and every other weekend, but since we took the ex to court in September and DH was awarded 50/50 joint physical custody, she is with us overnight every other day and then every other weekend. It works out really well and she loves it. Anyway, there's my intro... i'm sure there will be more later. Oh and I'm 19 weeks pregnant with our first together and Due May 9. :)

[MrsH]

Bump

[AmandaAK]

Hi, I'm Amanda(23) married to my DH(35) a year this June. I have a lovely Stepson named Keegan(5) and will hopefuly be ttc this summer:pray: Dh and ex have been seperated since Keegan was born and we only get him every other weekend, but he has grown up knowing his dad and I are together. Besides the crazy ex-wife talking bad about us, we have a happy blended family and I'm excited I'll have a place to vent if needed :laugh:

[tinybutmighty85]

My name is Casey and I am married to Craig, he has 2 daughters Sabrina(9) and Storm(9). They have different mothers Sabrina is 9 months older then Storm. Craig has joint custody of Storm but we just get her on the weekends cause of school. Sabrina is with us about every other weekend to maybe once a month. I am closer to the youngest (storm) because we have her a lot more the Sabrina. We all get along great. I have issues with Storm's mother but I get along with Sabrina's. Craig and I do not have any children of our own but hope to have a baby very soon.

[lllove]

Hi there!! I'm Lora and I have a 16 going on 17 year old DSS, and a 14 going on 15 DSD. I have been in their lives for 10 years, and we have had a lot of ups and downs. My husband was married previously and their marriage was blessed with a boy and a girl and they thought they were finished so he got a vascectomy well something was finished but it wasn't having kids it was their marriage! Then he met me and I have had no children and yes I wanted to be a mom so about 3 years into the relationship we had a reversal performed and it kinda worked, low count so I haven't been able to conceive. His ex since then has remarried and gave her new husband a child apparently she wasn't done! Although we have both children who choose to live with us they are at that age! She pays little to no child support, tells me I need to stay out of my husband and her dealings with the children cause I am not their mother...I just have them all the time, and yes those were her words!! LOL, I had a great relationship with my DSK's but its starting to go south as they get older. So I am worried that I will do all of the work helping my husband raise them but for what? In the end who is going to get the credit, yep their mother does and from everyone! Its already happening! So therefore I would like to have a child for myself one that my work will be noted and from what matters my child!! I think I am a wonderful mom, and my DSK choose to live with my husband and myself so I think I do a good job if I was really bad I don't think they would live with us. The ex is very ungrateful and demanding I tried having a good relationship with her, but after what she did to her children I can't even stand to see her! She is pure evil I believe and a huge hypocrite, she is a social worker and pulls children from homes she don't think are fit but she doesn't even have her kids and her home is very disfunctional! Anyways thats my story so far and 10 years is a lot to put down on here so if you have any questions just ask.

[rhiannasmoms43]

Hi there!! I'm Lora and I have a 16 going on 17 year old DSS, and a 14 going on 15 DSD. I have been in their lives for 10 years, and we have had a lot of ups and downs. My husband was married previously and their marriage was blessed with a boy and a girl and they thought they were finished so he got a vascectomy well something was finished but it wasn't having kids it was their marriage! Then he met me and I have had no children and yes I wanted to be a mom so about 3 years into the relationship we had a reversal performed and it kinda worked, low count so I haven't been able to conceive. His ex since then has remarried and gave her new husband a child apparently she wasn't done! Although we have both children who choose to live with us they are at that age! She pays little to no child support, tells me I need to stay out of my husband and her dealings with the children cause I am not their mother...I just have them all the time, and yes those were her words!! LOL, I had a great relationship with my DSK's but its starting to go south as they get older. So I am worried that I will do all of the work helping my husband raise them but for what? In the end who is going to get the credit, yep their mother does and from everyone! Its already happening! So therefore I would like to have a child for myself one that my work will be noted and from what matters my child!! I think I am a wonderful mom, and my DSK choose to live with my husband and myself so I think I do a good job if I was really bad I don't think they would live with us. The ex is very ungrateful and demanding I tried having a good relationship with her, but after what she did to her children I can't even stand to see her! She is pure evil I believe and a huge hypocrite, she is a social worker and pulls children from homes she don't think are fit but she doesn't even have her kids and her home is very disfunctional! Anyways thats my story so far and 10 years is a lot to put down on here so if you have any questions just ask.

The teens are tough at this age. Brutally tough. On the 'real' parent as well as the Step-parent. I guess it must be the security of the 'real' parent, of their role in that child's life, that make the teen years a little easier to swallow.
DH is a phenomenol Step-dad, but often gets to a point of ignoring dd for weeks at a time because she is so b!+chy and he takes it personally. He hears her being b!+chy to me too, but still believes it is because she hates him at those times...and at those times, she won't let up enough to give him any reassurances.
Yes it is tough...all around...but hang in there. All the adults that I've talked to who were step-children all said they put their step-parents through the ringer, but have a great relationship with them now that they are older.:hugs:

[lllove]

Thanks! I can say a lot of the problems aren't rare for the 'real' parent either! They know everything, we are boring, and they hate us lol..Still don't think they comprehend the word hate!! I just keep telling myself only a few more years left...And I want to start over again, I swear sometimes I am a sadist LOL!!

[Perplexed]

I am Cassie, married to Michael (just a little over a month now 8-20). He has two daughters from his previous relationship (thank god they never married) 9 and 6 years old.

We're currently in a big mess over custody and child support. I made a post about it last night in the mother's thread. It's driving me insane!! I just wish I had the money and a bigger space to get her in a courtroom custody battle. I've heard MN is a mother state, but there's more going against her than for her. :headbang: As of right now I've seen my sds twice, once, just Sunday without their mother being present. They had so much fun then their mother ruined it all, as was expected. :headbang:

I'm not trying to replace her as their mom, I just want the chance to get to know them! (And maybe get their okay before I get my BFP for their (hopefully soon) to be half sibling!

I'm here to give you some hope. I too live in MN and my DH has full physical custody of both of his daughters:hooray: A lot of states favor the mother in custody battles which is wrong. JUST THINK POSITIVE!

[Perplexed]

I am Stephanie (28) married to Jed (30). He has two daughters (5 and 7) and full physical custody of both of them. We started dating when they were 2 and 3. We will have been married for two years this coming June. I am expecting my fist biological child and our first boy:hooray: literally any day now. We are all excited and can't wait to meet the little guy! Right now, our "little turkey" is estimated to be 9 1/2 pounds- Butterball if you ask me... my belly is HUGE and ALL BABY!:bellyrubs:

[jtcpb12]

High everyone, My name is Tami 36, Wife to Glenn 34, Mother to Corina 14, & stepmom ( if you can say that) to Sydney 4. We have our first together due hopefuly 23 jun 09 by c-secction.
I'm currently on basically bed rest & pelvic rest due to funneling/short cervix i'm 24 weeks & just found it, so not stictch here, just going on pure hope!!!!
I'm so glad to have found this topic.... I have been searching for a place to come to to help with this subject.. I can relate to the feeling like a evil person, & MOSTLY the not even trying to connect with this child... My dh just make's it SO HARD!!! I to feel like he is willing at times to just give up on us, Going back to living on his own to deal with this woman & be her beck and call sometimes. He is COMPLETLY OBSSED with his daughter. ( more to come on that if any one wants to listen) What he & his family does sometimes will make anyone's head spin!!!! It's BEYOND spoling!!!
I raised my daughter for 13 yrs as a single parent she hasn't seen her " sperm donor" as we call him since 2000. This is our 1st marrage for both me & my husband. I was raised very strick & have raised my daughter that way also, some people may not agree with me, but i know have a very respectful, polite, wel mannered 14 almost 15 yr because of it, who is now having to fill my shoes & is happy to do it till our little girl is born. Thank you for listening and again i'm so happy to have found this topic, now that i'm pregnate it just seems to make me so stressed, & that's not good, i really need people to talk to who are going threw the same thing.

[PuppeyMommy1]

I'm Joie. We'll call DH Aces and I'm the proud stepmama to DSD8 and DSD12. We get to see our girls every other weekend, which isn't nearly enough. They consider me their "other mom" although they call me by my first name. Most of the time I just refer to them as my girls...I'm very lucky to be close to them. They were 8 and 4 when I moved in. I don't think our youngest can remember life without me...ironically she's more like me than her mom and our oldest is like DH.

I love how you call them "our girls". I have been calling DF's two boys from his previous marriage "our boys" for as long as I can remember. I told DF from the first time I met them that I was going to steal them away and keep them for myself.:laugh:

[PuppeyMommy1]

Guess I should divulge my info...

I'm Kelly (26) DF to Mike (32), "Evil" Stepmom to Austin (8) and Alex (6). We have "our boys" (see above) every other weekend and on Wednesday nights. Mike and I have been togther for 7 months, but were really good friends prior to actually starting to date. We are the same person in almost every aspect. We finish each others sentences and read each other's thoughts (and have been doing this since the first day we met). We were dating for about 6 weeks when we found out about or LO. Both of us were thrilled about it from the get-go.

Mike was nice enough to kid around one day and call me the "Evil Stepmother", so as a joke, the boys call me that on occasion. I love them to death and do everything in my power to treat them as if they were my own.

We battle with their mother pretty much on a regular basis. She is very vendictive and very resentful of the relationship that Mike and the boys have with me. That is, unless she wants something. Then she's as nice and as sweet as she can be. All we can do is what is best for the boys, so most of the time we give in, but only because of them.

We are slowly working our way into getting them full time. Since we moved into the house in January, the boys have spent most weekends with us. They like the stable environment and enjoy spending time with us more.

All in all, we are building what appears to be the best life for our children and each other and we are very thankful that we have each other.

[PuppeyMommy1]

If it is court ordered visitation, they can't do anything. They had no right or reason to take the kids and you could use that in future court proceedings, that is upsetting to the kids.

DF's ex- has tried to threaten many times to take the boys and not let us see them, but we keep the custody papers very close at hand. Without court order, the police have to follow what the papers say (unless they feel the child is in danger). So we have to throw those in her face several times a month.

[Joie]

Guess I should divulge my info...

I'm Kelly (26) DF to Mike (32), "Evil" Stepmom to Austin (8) and Alex (6). We have "our boys" (see above) every other weekend and on Wednesday nights. Mike and I have been togther for 7 months, but were really good friends prior to actually starting to date. We are the same person in almost every aspect. We finish each others sentences and read each other's thoughts (and have been doing this since the first day we met). We were dating for about 6 weeks when we found out about or LO. Both of us were thrilled about it from the get-go.

Mike was nice enough to kid around one day and call me the "Evil Stepmother", so as a joke, the boys call me that on occasion. I love them to death and do everything in my power to treat them as if they were my own.

We battle with their mother pretty much on a regular basis. She is very vendictive and very resentful of the relationship that Mike and the boys have with me. That is, unless she wants something. Then she's as nice and as sweet as she can be. All we can do is what is best for the boys, so most of the time we give in, but only because of them.

We are slowly working our way into getting them full time. Since we moved into the house in January, the boys have spent most weekends with us. They like the stable environment and enjoy spending time with us more.

All in all, we are building what appears to be the best life for our children and each other and we are very thankful that we have each other.

My oldest likes to call me her "Evil" Stepmother, but she always does it with a smile on her face and laughter in her voice. It's become a running joke. She's say I'm an evil stepmother and I'll be like "yep, make all your favorite foods and give you everything you need. You poor kid" and then she'll respond with "Yep. Horrible. Just horrible." I think it's her way of saying she's happy to have me around.

[Hfrush]

Hello Ladies.. my name is Hilary I am 27 my DBF is 31 we have been together for 3 years and he has a 7y/o son who we have 4 days out of the week.
It doesn't really look like people post in this forum every often so I hope that will change. I have been looking for a place to vent my frustrations out and this looks perfect.
The son I have been with since he was just about 4 and we defiantly are having our up's and down's now that he is getting older.
Recently the Birth mother went through her 3rd divorce and immediately started dating again. Cam (the son) has really been acting out because of what he sees at his mothers house and all of his acting out has been towards me.
I either get a visit where I am listened too and loved on non stop or I get a visit where I am treated like I do not exist. My DBF and I have started to argue about it a little bit because he thinks his behavior is othat of a normal 7y/o but I say BS!!
We are expecting after a m/c in December and last weekend I was told that if the baby dies in my stomach again then I can go back to cleaning the kitty litter... which is his chore because it's his cat...
Anyway, I hope people start posting again..

[lilbaby09]

We are expecting after a m/c in December and last weekend I was told that if the baby dies in my stomach again then I can go back to cleaning the kitty litter... which is his chore because it's his cat...

:saywhat: No, that's not normal 7 y.o. behavior, that's plain disrespect! If my son, who is 8, said that to me I wouldn't hesitate to pop him in the mouth. :pokey: You need to talk to DBF because you do not deserve to be treated like a dirty doormat for him to wipe his feet on when he feels like it. Hope you get this situation resolved soon, because this kid is testing his boundaries and it's just going to get worse as long as it's let go on like this. :hugs:

[christineestelle]

Hey there.

I'm Christine. I've been on APA for almost 2 years, and just now ventured to other rooms. HA ha!!!

I have two step kids - DSD Andrew, 16 and DSD Kymberly, 14.
We have 50/50 custody ... Monday through Sunday every other week. Their mom lives a whole one mile away from us.

I am blessed that I have a good relationship with his kids and he, for the most part, has a good relationship with his ex. I can't stand her, but I guess that's my job.

We have one daughter, Audrey, who is 1. And one on the way in December.

[Joie]

Hey there.

I'm Christine. I've been on APA for almost 2 years, and just now ventured to other rooms. HA ha!!!

I have two step kids - DSD Andrew, 16 and DSD Kymberly, 14.
We have 50/50 custody ... Monday through Sunday every other week. Their mom lives a whole one mile away from us.

I am blessed that I have a good relationship with his kids and he, for the most part, has a good relationship with his ex. I can't stand her, but I guess that's my job.

We have one daughter, Audrey, who is 1. And one on the way in December.

Welcome! Sorry I missed this!

[o0astrid0o]

I am sorry I missed it too!! Welcome!

[christineestelle]

Thanks ladies.

[mattiehatter]

I am Mary wife to Mark.

I have a 13 year old stepson named Austen and a 10 year old stepdaughter named Leigha. DH and I have been together for 2 years and 9 months and married for 2 months. We haven't seen the kids in 2 1/2 years because their mother is a psycho. She left DH after cheating on him for 2+ years with a man she isn't even with. She claims that he is a neglectful father and has even told him that she wants him to sign away his rights. I've met my stepkids once and she assumed that I was just as stupid as the last few bimbos that my DH had dated previously (I was 19 at the time and I'm 22 now). It breaks my heart that DH feels powerless against her because she won't even let the kids call him and vice versa. Even though I have only met these kids once I love them with all my heart and hope that they know that their father loves them even though he can't show them at this distance (she lives 7 hours away).

My stepdaughter was born with a condition call Bicoronal Craniosynostosis. DH is a carrier of this genetic condition and when I said that I wanted to have children their hag of a mother told me that there was a 100% chance of me delivering a child with an abnormality of some sort(Austen had an undescended testicle and was later diagnosed with ADHD, but not any remote form of BCS). We later found out that his chances of passing on the gene is 25% given I had the matching "puzzle piece" as his form is autosomial recessive and I'm negative for the gene. We know our risks and are willing to take them.

I am a stepmother, but given circumstances I am not allowed to parent.

[christineestelle]

Oh Mary that's so very sad. My heart breaks for you all.

[mattiehatter]

Oh Mary that's so very sad. My heart breaks for you all.

Thank you Christine. Sometimes I feel like I'm just giving a sob story, but I want our kids!! I just wish that his ex wasn't such a psycho.:ohno:

[christineestelle]

Thank you Christine. Sometimes I feel like I'm just giving a sob story, but I want our kids!! I just wish that his ex wasn't such a psycho.:ohno:

I think we all wish that. Makes us wonder why they married them, huh???

[mattiehatter]

I think we all wish that. Makes us wonder why they married them, huh???

He married her because he thought that it was just the r.ight thing to do. They had already had Austen and they had the stigma attached to them that you married the woman once she had your baby. He was also a big pushover back them (he was only 21 at the time) and after a few years he started standing up for himself and she didn't like that at all so she started cheating and accusing him of cheating (which he never did not that he didn't have opportunity). :headbang: It's like dealing with a brick wall when you just want to slam their head into a brick wall.

[AmyM]

I have a question for those that have 50/50 custody... do you still have to pay child support to the mother?

[christineestelle]

Amy ... we do not. She could sue us for child support, but she's remarried now and their combined income is greater than ours. They work really well together and and pay for things equally. Meda, school stuff, etc. They have a pretty good relationship where that is concerned.

[mrs.waddle]

I am Beccy, married to Aaron. I have a 5 yo son and a 3 yo daughter. they have different fathers. My son is with me 100% of the time and my husband is adopting him. My daughter is with us 50% of the time. Aaron has a 16 month old daughter that was the result of a one night stand. We have had a hard time with his daughter because her mother is vicious to us. I am resentful that he has her and feel awful for this everyday. Her mother spreads trash about me and aaron to everyone. Most of my resentment comes from the child support. This child was made from a condom failing and the mother refused to take plan b when he asked her to, insisting that she couldnt get pregnant that time of the month. She then told him she was pregnant a couple weeks later and bragged to everyone about how much she would make from child support. We take his daughter every weekend and have been trying to fight for custody as she is one of those mothers who has her kids to live off of child support and is never with them. She now makes more money in child support than we have to support our whole family, most of which comes from my husband. I am now pregnant with our son due november 7th and am really angry that because of this child support our son doesnt get anything and i cant stay at home with him like we had planned for the first year. I dont want anyone to think im against child support, im not. But i dont feel my husband should have to pay $1000+ a month in child support and we cant afford even our home, food and transportation nevermind our other bills.
I love his daughter but it is really hard for me right now.

[AmyM]

Beccy, I have been in your boat... your story is very familiar to me. Back in 06 my husband had a fling and we have DSS as a result. he begged her to do the plan b thing too... Of course I hated her, him and the child at first. I was resentful about the whole situation. Eventually I forgave DH and reluctantly accepted DSS.. It was so hard at first because I have had so many miscarriages. And he slept with her ONE time and got a baby. It was so unfair. I'm over everything now except child support. The child support has been a thorn in my side since day one and I don't think it will ever go away. At first we had to pay her $870 a month... we were making a little over 3500 a month at the time. We were always broke. She was driving around a brand new dodge pick up and I we were always struggling to have food on the table and get the bills paid. I despised her for it. She just laughed at me. We now have 50/50 custody and have to pay 400 a month. It still sucks. Cost of living hasn't gone down obviously. In fact we had 440 to our name on Saturday.... had to pay her... we have 40 bucks now...
We get along... but I HATE giving her money... I don't think it's fair. My husband works his ass off and it just feels like all we do is give it away.... I have to get a job. And I hate that. I so feel your pain.

eta: I LOVE DSS... it's like he's my own... and I wouldn't trade him for the world. I just don't want anyone to think I'm mean to him because of his parents... lol

[mrs.waddle]

Beccy, I have been in your boat... your story is very familiar to me. Back in 06 my husband had a fling and we have DSS as a result. he begged her to do the plan b thing too... Of course I hated her, him and the child at first. I was resentful about the whole situation. Eventually I forgave DH and reluctantly accepted DSS.. It was so hard at first because I have had so many miscarriages. And he slept with her ONE time and got a baby. It was so unfair. I'm over everything now except child support. The child support has been a thorn in my side since day one and I don't think it will ever go away. At first we had to pay her $870 a month... we were making a little over 3500 a month at the time. We were always broke. She was driving around a brand new dodge pick up and I we were always struggling to have food on the table and get the bills paid. I despised her for it. She just laughed at me. We now have 50/50 custody and have to pay 400 a month. It still sucks. Cost of living hasn't gone down obviously. In fact we had 440 to our name on Saturday.... had to pay her... we have 40 bucks now...
We get along... but I HATE giving her money... I don't think it's fair. My husband works his ass off and it just feels like all we do is give it away.... I have to get a job. And I hate that. I so feel your pain.

eta: I LOVE DSS... it's like he's my own... and I wouldn't trade him for the world. I just don't want anyone to think I'm mean to him because of his parents... lol

i'm so glad someone understands. most people think i just dont want him to have to pay and thats not it at all. he has offered since the baby was born to pay her what we could afford and she was angry because he is supporting his own family and told him she wanted more. the child support case is in mass, we live in nh. after taxes dh only takes home 3200 a month and 1000 of it goes to child support. they dont even care that he already pays 70 a week for her health insurance. and they dont care that our family can barely even get by. the judge didnt seem to understand that if he cant pay for our car and gas to go to work he will lose his job. in nh his guideline support rate would be 70 less a week than it is in mass. i just dont see how its fair when he has the responsibility of a family to support and they give more to one child than to 4 of us.

[AmyM]

I know, it doesn't make any sense. New Mexico is an pro mommy state... and that's fine... I'm all for child support when there are dead beats that don't give a ****, but when you get a dad who is willing to do everything possible to support their kids, but they always seem to end up being the ones who get sent through the ringer...

[mattiehatter]

DH pays out 211.84 a month which isn't much, but what little he does pay does drain us. His ex never let's us have the kids and I really really hate her. A few months ago we got a hold of her and had a war of words. She told me that DH was a compulsive liar and he cheated on her from day one (he doesn't have a cheating bone in his body). Some of what she tried to tell me was old news (DH started drinking regularly, smoking, sleeping around). Honestly I expected a man who hadn't gotten any (no reason for him to lie about that) for 2 years to sleep with somebody, but he was a man ho. He and I settled down almost 3 years ago and from the first date he's always been fairly at peace with me. We haven't had the kids since February of 08. He hasn't talked to them since they snuck their mothers phone last August. She has tried to tell us that the kids don't want anything to do with him (which I think is bs). To woman is evil and now she's trying to sqeeze him for more money and now he's unemployed. It's just frustrating.

[mrs.waddle]

i couldnt imagine not letting my kids see their father. i dont see a point in fighting with my exes and i dont think child support is necessary when a father spends 50% with their child and/or helps out when its needed. my daughters father doesnt pay support, its more important to me that she has her father and i know he doesnt make much. if i need clothes or something he helps, if shes in daycare he helps. my sons father does have a support order, 72 a week that i rarely ever see anyways. but i only asked for it in his case because he got me pregnant on purpose and told me to have him and then never saw him or helped with anything. i would never force a father to be a father, i feel like that would just be bad for the child and the father. but i could never deny my child the chance to have one. i think thats just awful.

[AmyM]

If I had children from a different father, I couldn't keep them from him either... I think it's important to have a dad... I never got that luxury. DH is a very very good father.We have DSS every other week... We switch off every Monday. For now it works, but when he gets older and into elementary, that's when we are gonna run into problems. She lives in a different school district than we do. We've been in the same place for almost 10 years now.... we've helped her move 11 times in 5 years.... She is in a cute little house in town now.... hopefully she will stay there for awhile....although, I don't know how it's gonna work when he gets into school. DS is in middle school, catches the bus. I guess we will just cross that bridge when we get there.
It's been pretty smooth for the last 2ish years. Tempers haven't flared anyway. I just hope it stays that way... :-)

[christineestelle]

If I had children from a different father, I couldn't keep them from him either... I think it's important to have a dad... I never got that luxury. DH is a very very good father.We have DSS every other week... We switch off every Monday. For now it works, but when he gets older and into elementary, that's when we are gonna run into problems. She lives in a different school district than we do. We've been in the same place for almost 10 years now.... we've helped her move 11 times in 5 years.... She is in a cute little house in town now.... hopefully she will stay there for awhile....although, I don't know how it's gonna work when he gets into school. DS is in middle school, catches the bus. I guess we will just cross that bridge when we get there.
It's been pretty smooth for the last 2ish years. Tempers haven't flared anyway. I just hope it stays that way... :-)

My step-kids step-siblings (do you follow that) live in two different cities 50/50 also. Their mom drives them to their dad's on her mornings and they walk to school from there. They go back to dad's to do homework, and after work she picks them up and takes them home. it's not ideal, but it works for them. Heck ... their dad gets lots of time with them, so that's cool too.

[mrs.waddle]

My step-kids step-siblings (do you follow that) live in two different cities 50/50 also. Their mom drives them to their dad's on her mornings and they walk to school from there. They go back to dad's to do homework, and after work she picks them up and takes them home. it's not ideal, but it works for them. Heck ... their dad gets lots of time with them, so that's cool too.

that sounds like so much moving around for the kids! but it is nice they can spend so much time with their dad.

[mrs.waddle]

If I had children from a different father, I couldn't keep them from him either... I think it's important to have a dad... I never got that luxury. DH is a very very good father.We have DSS every other week... We switch off every Monday. For now it works, but when he gets older and into elementary, that's when we are gonna run into problems. She lives in a different school district than we do. We've been in the same place for almost 10 years now.... we've helped her move 11 times in 5 years.... She is in a cute little house in town now.... hopefully she will stay there for awhile....although, I don't know how it's gonna work when he gets into school. DS is in middle school, catches the bus. I guess we will just cross that bridge when we get there.
It's been pretty smooth for the last 2ish years. Tempers haven't flared anyway. I just hope it stays that way... :-)

maybe since you have a more stable living situation he would end up going to school in your town. we are hoping to get more time with dsd through court but mass is a tough state and they take forever. his mother lives in a tiny 2 bedroom apartment with her three kids, her current bf and his two kids...kind of ridiculous...

[AmyM]

maybe since you have a more stable living situation he would end up going to school in your town. we are hoping to get more time with dsd through court but mass is a tough state and they take forever. his mother lives in a tiny 2 bedroom apartment with her three kids, her current bf and his two kids...kind of ridiculous...
Well we live in the same town... but just two different school districts. DH doesn't want to ruffle any feathers so he will probably let her choose the school.. :pokey:. But I'll tell you what.... the first time she rips him from the school she chooses I'll put a screeching halt to it. He WILL go to the school DS went to and she will just have to deal with it... My mom pulled that crap with me when I was a kid, I don't want him having a hard time making and keeping friends just because his mother can't stay in one place, KWIM?
I agree with you on the court thing.... they take way too long... by the time you get there with one issue, 500 other ones have risen and it's just a mess... I hope we will be able to work things out civil without court interuption.

[christineestelle]

that sounds like so much moving around for the kids! but it is nice they can spend so much time with their dad.

It's really not. It's like going to before and after school care, but at their dad's instead of an actual program.

ETA that the other city is only about 5 miles away, just too far to get themselves to school.

[AmyM]

My step-kids step-siblings (do you follow that) live in two different cities 50/50 also. Their mom drives them to their dad's on her mornings and they walk to school from there. They go back to dad's to do homework, and after work she picks them up and takes them home. it's not ideal, but it works for them. Heck ... their dad gets lots of time with them, so that's cool too.
Sounds complicated... lol but hey, if it works.... I just hope she doesn't make it too complicated...We live about 15 miles out of town, whereas she lives in town... It's definitely more convenient for her.

[christineestelle]

Sounds complicated... lol but hey, if it works.... I just hope she doesn't make it too complicated...We live about 15 miles out of town, whereas she lives in town... It's definitely more convenient for her.

I dunno if she makes things complicated or not. I just know their arrangement, I don't really care about their custody or fights or whatnot. We just know what we hear via the grapevine.

[AmyM]

I dunno if she makes things complicated or not. I just know their arrangement, I don't really care about their custody or fights or whatnot. We just know what we hear via the grapevine.
oh sorry, i was meaning 'she' as in my DSS's mom... she has a tendency to bite off more than she can chew when it comes to DSS and we end up fixing it...

[christineestelle]

oh sorry, i was meaning 'she' as in my DSS's mom... she has a tendency to bite off more than she can chew when it comes to DSS and we end up fixing it...

ah ... gotcha.

[mrs.waddle]

its nice that a schedule like that works for them, when you say its like before an after school care your right, i didnt think of that. better to be with their father than a stranger.

[auntie2monkeyman]

Just found this thread.

My names Jo(19) DBF is Matt(21). we've been together for 3 months but we've known each other for 6 years. Dated previously but broke up and lost contact.

DBF has 2 daughters from a previous relationship. A 2 year old and an 11 month old. My relationship with the girls is great! I love them. The relationship with the ex is a different story.

His ex thought they were gonna get back together but when she found out about me she pulled the keeping the kids from him. It came close to it ruining us because I felt so bad. But when she found herself another "man" she came back around to letting DBF get the girls.

The 2 year old stays with DBF 24/7. His ex treats her like crap so he decided not to put her through that anymore. The 11 month old we get on Wednesdays and every weekend. And whenever his ex decides she has better things to do then spend time with her kids.

[Blessed x2]

:hi:
My name is Jamie(26), DBF is Ray(30). He has two sons, Alex who is 10, 11 in Sept. & David who just turned 7. The boys and I get along great, no problems what so ever. However, the ex-wife is another issue.

Today was suppose to have been the last court date, buuut it is being dragged out again. His ex-wife and him shared custody, Ray had the boys 57% of the time, Wednesday at 3pm to Sunday at 3pm. However, today that was switched; he has full custody and the boys only get supervised visitations with his ex on Wednesday for 3 hours and Sunday for 3 hours. This is going to go on until Sept 13th, to give her time to get her crap together. She has a CPS case against her, and the boys are not allowed around her current boyfriend. She needs to contact CPS and get things going with them, and move the boyfriend out, in order for her to get more time with the boys. If this is all not done by September 13th, the current situation may be permanent.

We are thrilled with this since she does not work, can not provide food for the boys and struggles with paying rent. The boys wear the same clothes everyday at her house, etc. It is a never ending battle for her to care for the boys. Her boyfriend is abusive and she has been telling DBF about how her and her current boyfriend are now swingers.

This is going to be an ongoing battle...