And then we wonder why they’re refusing and what can we do to get them to listen to us without any backlash.
We’ve all been there and we’ve all had the feelings – here are the real reasons why your kids aren’t listening to you and what you can do about it.
1. What Are You Really Asking Of Them?
It’s easy to forget our children’s age when we want something done.
But it’s important that we stop and think of what we’re asking of our children.
Are you asking a one year old to pick up an entire room? Because that’s an unreasonable request — they simply don’t understand it and they don’t understand why they should have to. They’re one after all. Their job is to be a kid and play and make messes and explore. And it’s your job as a parent to understand that and not ask them to be older than they are.
Are you asking a ten year old to pick up after themselves? Because that’s a reasonable request. They comprehend that direction and understand that if they make the mess then they should clean it.
It’s important that we take the time to really understand what we’re asking our children to do. We’ve been adults for so long that we have effortlessly forgotten what it’s like to be a child.
There’s no sense of urgency or desire to be elsewhere when you’re a child, be it physically or mentally, besides where we absolutely want to be.
So be aware of the how’s and why’s of what you’re asking of your children. Be mindful of their age and limitations both physically, mentally, and emotionally.
2. Accept Your Child’s Personality
If you have a stubborn child, then work with them rather than against them to get things done.
If you want the toys picked up and they refuse, perhaps making a game to see who can do it quicker will help.
Or if your child has a short attention span, then have them get things done in spurts rather than expecting them to obey a laundry list of your demands.
Staying one step ahead of your kids at all times requires you to be proactive about how you go about asking your children to get things done.
3. Don’t Demand
Your three year old won’t fully grasp the concept of ‘do this now or else’. And why should she – she’s only three.
You may think she’s old enough, and she’s definitely old enough for certain things – but not everything.
Demanding anything from any child takes away their right to be themselves — just like you don’t like to be demanded to do anything, your kids don’t either.
Rather, work with your kids to get things accomplished while not being so bossy and standoffish.
Turn ‘I don’t want this room looking like a pigsty so it better be cleaned up in five minutes’ into ‘I bet you can’t wait to watch XYZ movie, let’s get these toys back into the chest so we can get the popcorn and watch the movie together’.
- Always be respectful of your children and what you’re asking of them. Pay attention to your demands to ensure they’re age-appropriate.
- Your kids will respond much better to chores being asked with love rather than with distant demands.
About the author: Danielle is a professional blogger, freelance writer, social media manager, and web content editor specializing in parenting, family, pregnancy, social media, start-ups and entrepreneurial topics. To learn more about Danielle, please visit her website at www.PenPointEditorial.com.